Where you’re at right now is perfect

by on August 26, 2014

I was reading a content piece online a little while back from a well-known internet marketing guru. It went a little something like this…

“If you don’t have x number of website visitors, you are a failure.”

Ouch.

I understand why we see these types of statements. It’s about igniting a spark. Getting people to want to take action and make improvements. I get it.

I also really don’t like it.

Personally, I feel like these types of communications mire internet marketing and the web space. And I don’t think that they are helpful.

Because us entrepreneurs and small business owners already feel shaky enough sometimes with where we’re at with our businesses. We can lack confidence and feel like what we are doing sucks or isn’t making a difference. That we are failures. We don’t need blanket statements that feed the negativity.

And we don’t need to play the comparison game.

I saw a great quote on Google Plus the other day – “Don’t compare your Chapter 1 with someone else’s Chapter 20”. This is so apt and so bang on.

Where you’re at right now is perfect

Thanks to Nichole Kellerman for the awesome image!

But as small biz owners, it’s so easy to get stuck in the comparison mind trap. Tell me if any of this sounds familiar…

  • You see a promotion in your Facebook news feed that you think is just fantastic, and your heart sinks because you immediately tell yourself you could never pull off anything like that.
  • You see the number of followers (likes, plus ones) someone has, and you get disheartened and discouraged.
  • You see all the comments and shares they get, and you sigh and wonder if you should just give up already because you will never that that same attention and appreciation for what you produce.
  • Anytime you come across the great stuff others are doing, you beat yourself up for not making more progress, looking back on your past few months or years with scrutiny and an evil eye, full of self blame and deprecation. What is wrong with you and why can’t you be as good (productive, effective, awesome) as everyone else?

This kind of negative self-talk seems to almost run on autopilot, doesn’t it? I’m guilty of it all the time and I’m constantly catching myself with thoughts like this.

And it’s absolutely crucial that you do catch these thoughts and work at shifting them or redirecting them. Why? Because they are destructive!

  • They can lead to paralysis, where you are so overwhelmed by what you need to do, and the bar set by others (that you have put up by the way), that you just can’t take any action and so do nothing. Which makes you feel worse about yourself. Which propels more negative self perceptions and on and on goes the merry go round.
  • How can you persevere when you’re constantly berating your self?
  • What kind of trust in the universe does this type of behavior demonstrate?
  • Talk about joy zapping. Oh yeah, feeling bad about yourself also zaps your vitality and energy too.
  • Jealousy and comparison, feeling you’re not good enough or don’t have enough of something (whether it’s web traffic, email subscribers or social media followers) is the exact opposite to the encryption of abundance.

Where you’re at right now is perfect. It took me time and experience to acknowledge this.

In my first years of business, I learned so many things, and went through tons of personal healing. I started out really stressed about what I thought I should be doing and overwhelmed by these massive goals that I had. OK, to be honest I still feel this. Not as much as I once did, but stress, overwhelm and general dissatisfaction still crops up.

Quieting that negative chatter is not an overnight fix, it’s a lifelong commitment to choosing higher, choosing joy, choosing to embody what it is you want to see in the world and in your biz. Before I could start to have the business and the work life that I wanted, the personal healing had to come first. And the learning. I had to let go of the perfectionist and embrace a whole new meaning to the word perfect.

Being a small business entrepreneur is not just a job; it’s a process and a journey. And that’s one of the reasons it’s such a powerful and amazing path to take. It’s so much more than just a way to make a living. It’s a way to make a life. {Click to tweet this!}

On to you… how do you steer clear of the comparison game? How do you deal with that negative voice pops up telling you you’re not good enough? Meet you in the comments…

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